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The new class of confident, educated, urban Indian women is ready to take life in their stride, all on their own, dismissing the need of a ‘man’ to complete them… defile
“O my God! Mrs. Sharma, your daughter is really pretty! So when do we get to hear her wedding bells ringing?” says Mrs. Choudhury in a wedding.
And the hitherto broad smile on Mrs. Sharma’s face immediately vanishes. Even she has been wondering when her 30-year old daughter would agree to get married. For Pallavi, however, marriage has never been on the cards. Of course her mother’s persistence lands her into a dilemma now and then; but her drive for freedom and her non-agreement with the patriarchal matrimonial system soon overpowers that dilemma. “I have decided to remain single. But I will continue to have lots of male friends,” she giggles.
In fact, not just Pallavi, same goes the story with thousands of independent Indian women today. These women are well educated, independent, and simply brush off the need of a ‘man’ in their lives. Ask them about their future plans, and all of them will tell you about their savings, investments, and the expenses they wish to incur in luxury and all the crazy things they wish to spend in. Today’s women know that in order to lead a life on their own terms, they need money. Gone are the days when money matters were exclusively confined to men. “I am going to work really hard for the next sixteen years. After that I am going to fulfill my dream of opening a library cum coffee shop,” says the 29-year old Jahnvi.
THE UPRISING
| “I really don’t feel the need to get married right now. I have so many things to do, so many things to see, and so many milestones to achieve. Marriage at this stage can only shatter my dreams,” Farzina says. |
Call it a revolution or a new upsurge, even the rural women in India are refusing to be forced down by any unjust forces (Gulabi Gang being an ideal example of it). And one can well understand the kind of empowerment the urban singletons demand. Even the portrayal of women in Bollywood has changed in this context. Be it Konkona Sen shifting to Mumbai from Kolkata in search of independence in Wake up Sid, or Kareena Kapoor giving priority to her ideologies and work over her love-interest in Gori Tere Pyar Mein, or Vidya Balan’s decision to be a single mom in Paa, Bollywood mirrors the new-found confidence and a sense of freedom of the modern Indian women.
When the 27-year old lecturer Farzina started slumping under the constant nagging from her parents and relatives to get married, she decided enough was enough! She applied for a job in another city. And within a month, she shifted to another city, away from all the conventional family pressures. She has now got a house on rent in the new city and has furnished the apartment on her own. Today she is leading a tough but happy life cooking on her own, inviting her new friends over dinner, partying, watching movies, reading books, drinking good wine, and of course making better money from her new job. “I really don’t feel the need to get married right now. I have so many things to do, so many things to see, and so many milestones to achieve. Marriage at this stage can only shatter my dreams,” Farzina says.
THE DIFFICULTIES & THE DILEMMA
In a society where marriage is the licensed foundation for a majority of relationships, the decision to stay single does not come easy for any girl. She is often shot at by logical arguments and explanations hitting her from all quarters, like ‘marry now or else you will find no good suitors later’, ‘marry now or else conceiving a child would become difficult’, and the most annoying one ‘marry now because girls do need someone to protect them.’ It would only take a miracle to escape all these shots missing the target. At least for once, the girl gets into a dilemma whether to go by her family’s reasoning or to follow her own heart. In several cases, girls do succumb to this pressure and get married.
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